She breathed in short raspy breaths....she was panicing...she was frozen by fear...she was angry...hot tears slid down her cheeks as she ran away from the world...her fist slammed into the wall....her heart was pounding out of her chest...she was so afraid...she didn't want to be forced into anything...WHY GOD!? She screamed from the inside....Why?.....why do I have to do this....as scared and angry as she was she was desperate and confused...she didn't want to be forced into anything....but even through the mixed emotions she was angrier at herself then anyone else because she was feeling this way...she shouldn't be feeling this way...she should be compassionate and willing to take any opportunity God gave her....but inside she was so afraid paralyzed by fear...the fear blinded her...all she wanted to do was run away...she didn't believe that she was strong enough...she was tired and frustrated and she just wanted to cry and hide from the world...her heart was breaking in two...fear had crippled her all of her life...it had prevented her from living her life the way she wanted to....fear of failure...fear of rejection...and just fear that she wasn't strong enough dragged her down every time....She was so scared she didn't want to disappoint anyone or look stupid...she tried to catch her breath....her sides were heaving as she slowed down and tried to take deeper slow breaths...she slowly turned and headed back towards the way she came from...she made it half way and she broke down again...this fear was holding her back...she crumpled down in the corner and cried rocking herself back and forth trying to muffle her sobs...finally she stood to her feet....this fear was no longer allowed to control her or her life or her decisions...she wanted to be free of this fear and she would conquer it if it was the last thing she did....steadfastly she proceeded towards her fear...she could feel her heart begin to pound harder as she walked steadily and firmly towards her goal...she would make it...she would survive...fear would keep her in bondage no longer....before she knew it it was over....and she could finally taste FREEDOM....this was not the last time fear would try to drag her down....but next time she would be just a bit stronger then before...she would be a bit more determined and even if it felt like the whole world was coming down on her...she would SURVIVE.....
PurpleEyesRBeautiful
No comments:
Post a Comment