She curled up in bed...laying in the dark.....her pillow and sheets soaked by tears falling from her weary eyes...She inhaled deeply in between sobs....she hadn't felt this broken and hurt in years.....she felt so lost and hurt and abused and used.....she no longer knew who she was or who she could trust...I thought I could trust you! She wanted so badly to scream but she couldn't......all she could do was shake and cry and shake and cry some more....like a small child curled up trying to hide from the world......she so desperately wanted to know why....she wanted answers....she wanted to feel like for once that someone really cared and that someone wasn't going to leave her...she didn't understand all the lies....why did everyone always lie to her and hurt her....did people think that she wouldn't understand....or that she would judge them? Did she really come across that way? Why did no one understand how broken she was? .......she didn't hate them...she wasn't even angry....she was just really hurt.....SO hurt......she felt so broken in side like someone just tore out her heart and left her standing there like an empty shell standing alone in the desert waiting for a rain that would never come....She so desperately wanted her questions answered.....she had so many questions and so much hurt that she felt could never really be healed...she knew she would need to forgive eventually but right now the wound was to fresh......she just wanted to cry all day and all night....she felt so numb to the world....she just wanted to sleep all the pain away and hope that one day when she woke up it would all be over.....She wanted to be whole again she wanted to be her...she didn't want to struggle with all of this hurt any more....she just wanted to escape and fly away to another land where pain didn't exist and she could forget all of the hurt in her heart.....she didn't want to feel this pain any longer....she was tired of being hurt by everyone who she thought cared about her or loved her....she was sick of being hurt again and again and again by the people who she thought she could trust but it was all a big game a bg lie to hurt her and use her and trick her into believing something she should not...no one really cared...everyone just wanted to see if they could pull the pull over her eyes and see if she would fall for it like the dumb little lamb she was....and being the trusting person she was who always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt she woul be fooled and hurt once again stabbed in the back once again by the people she thought she could trust....she so desperetly just wanted someon to actually genuinely care about her...but she knew that was impossible.....all that she was good for was to be hurt over again over by everyone who pretended to care.....maybe someday she
would not feel so broken by this but right now it hurt and cut so deeply she felt like she could no longer carry on.....she hoped that maybe one day she would recover from this experience but today was not that day...maybe one day she would find it in her heart to trust again...or maybe not....
Live, Love, Laugh PurpleEyesRBeautiful
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