She sat alone in the darkness in the shadows...The pain consumed her as she wallowed suffering in her shame...Why did I ever think that you truely cared?.... she wondered to herself desperatly searching for answers...What happened?...What did I do to make you hate me?...What changed?...Something must of changed....you are no longer the person I once thought that you were...She pulled her knees up to her chest and rocked herself back and forth as she cried trying to brush her streeming tears away with the back of her hand...You must of loved me once...once not so long ago....not to long ago maybe I loved you to....I don't understand what happened and you won't tell me....you won't give me any answers but leave me alone in the darkness wondering....I loved you when no one else would....I always listened to you and never judged you when the rest of the world was tearing you down....At first you took my heart oh so carefully oh so softly cradling in the palm of your hands...You loved and took care of my heart...but then somewhere along the way something changed...you were different and instead of being cradled gently you placed my heart in your back pocket...you sat on it and kept it for yourself and I didn't mind...you still kept my heart but were not quite so careful with it as you were once before...However one day I found you crushing my heart and not letting it get any air....I forgave you I ALWAYS forgave you...I simply brushed off all the pain you were causing me but you didn't see that did you?....Sometimes I wonder if you truely loved me at all...how could someone who loved me inflict so much pain on me and my life?....and why did I tolerate it? sometimes I wonder what I was thinking....I think that I was desperatly trying to hold on to you...I was willing to endure what was necessary for you to love me...But I was wrong...You tricked me like all who I've loved before....I cannot trust you...I never should of allowed you to hold my heart....I should of never allowed you to whisper sweet things in my ear....She gasped for breath through her sobbing screams....She clawed the dirt beneath her digging her long fingers into the soil..."HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME?!?!?" she screamed into the darkness "Why did I ever believe you when you said you loved me?" She curled up on the ground like a small child trying to hide from the hatred of the world. Warm rain began to fall upon her and she streaked mud across her face as she tried to scrub the tears away... You used me and then threw me away...you toyed with me leading me on like your puppet and then you cut my heart to shreds....by the time you were finished my heart was in so many ribbons but you told me you loved me as you stooped to the ground to collect all the tattered pieces...Then you would paste me roughly back together like merely a paper doll...And this would happen over and over again...you would break my heart and mend it again and again and again...I always forgave you I forgive you now....But I am now broken to a point that I cannot be fixed...you are no longer around to fix me.. and no one else can now either...I have been broken and battered and bruised by you but you never noticed...why did I hold on to you so tightly?...why was I so afraid to loose you when all you did was cause me greif for only a bit of happiness...I was like an abused puppy searching for affection from a hateful master only to be struck down once again... You have broken me down....I always loved you...if you only knew the extent of it perhaps you would change your mind....somehow I doubt it...I was only your muse while you searched the world over for something "better". Maybe that was your intent all along but I never saw it that way until now...until you left me FOREVER.... I wish I could of seen before now that you are not worth the time and pain I struggled with over you...I DESERVE MORE....She laid in the mud on the ground for seemingly hours soaking in the warm rain....feeling it run over her skin....She wished with all her might that things would have been different but it was over between them it no longer mattered...she was freed from her abusive master...She turned her head to the side catching a glimpse of light from the corner of her eye...She plucked the light from the muddy soil...a single daisy withstood the mud and the rain and stood alone in the field in which she laid...She clutched the daisy to her chest protectivly...this daisy was her hope that the rain would be coming and she would hold on to the light in the darkness and through the intense pain....
One Tear in the driving rain
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One light that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If Your everything You say You are
Won't you come close and hold my heart?
Hold My Heart by Tenth Avenue North
I loved you and you left me...you hurt me so much....you broke my heart....and you never even realized it...you probably never will...I remain comforted by the three simple words which are so difficult to say but I mean them with all my heart and with all my innermost being....As much as I would love to hate you for the pain you have caused me strangely I do not....I FORGIVE YOU...
PurpleEyesRBeautiful
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