Trust

Why?....the angry thoughts consumed her...why am I such a fool to believe that I could trust you...When I was alone and depressed...when I was angry and in pain you were there ALWAYS....You promised that you would always be here for me...even when hundreds of miles separated us you said that you would never leave me...you said that everything would be alright...you told me that you loved me...you said that you cared....I looked up to you and you looked after me...I told you my secrets...I told you what my heart was speaking...you knew everything about me every tiny pin stuck in my heart...you promised me that even when you left that you would be back for me...that you would always come back...that you would always care even when the rest of the world wanted to tare me down...I BELIEVED you...I trust people to quickly...I know I do but still I knew you for years and I never thought that you of all people would break my heart....when I found out what you did to us...what you did to me...my heart stopped...for a moment I refused to believe it...I tried to make myself believe that you would never do anything to me...that you were the person who I always believed you to be...but the reality is you LIED...you were the one person in my life for so many years who I knew that I could trust no matter what....but now I find out that it was all a front...that everything you told me was a lie! That every time you told me that you cared you were just using me just like the rest of the world....every time we spoke you were laughing at me...you didn't care....that is not what love is...YOU DO NOT LOVE ME.....I trusted you with my heart I knew that I could trust you...all of my friends and family said that I could trust you...I believed that you actually cared about me...but no...I was so wrong...I was terribly wrong...it was all a mistake and all a lie...you tricked us all and most of all you tricked me! I was such a fool to trust you! I always try to see the best in people so sometimes I am blind to the darkness beneath and I get played...over and OVER again...I have been tricked and used again and again by so many people and YOU KNEW THAT....and what hurts the most...is that I told you that...I told you how many times my heart had been broken...and you promised me that you would never break my heart...you promised me that I could trust me...and all of that...every hour I spoke to you was all a big joke on me...were you laughing at me? I cannot believe that even though you knew just how broken I was you used that and you used me just the same way that everyone else has...but by having it be you...it was so much worse then all the times before...I told you things my family never knew about me....and you took that and used it against me...she crumpled on the floor...she hugged herself trying to rock herself to sleep tears streaming down her face....Here is the thing...as much as I want to hate you for what you did...as much as I don't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing me weak and broken once again...the honest truth..is that you broke my heart...but the truth is also...as angry as I am for what you did to me...I FORGIVE YOU...I cannot stay mad at you....I know you have a wonderful purpose on this earth even if you have not discovered it yet...I believe in you that you can change...you can make a difference...One lesson I have learned throughout my life is if you hold on to anger and hurt it only makes you bitter and miserable...I have been through the pain and have come out standing more then once and this will be no different...don't worry about me...I will be fine...even though tears and the pain consume me right now....I will survive..I will make it out the other side..So stand in the rain....Stand your ground...Stand up when it's all crashing down....Stand through the pain....You won't drown...And one day what's lost can be found...So stand in the rain...
PurpleEyesRBeautiful